Non-Canon: Calamari Craze
(News jingle plays) This is EHN3 at 5 - bringing you the day's stories from around the world right to your meal table. News Reporter 1: Welcome to Eastern Hub News 3. Today's headline, a new food frenzy has swept the Federation as the capture of three Leviathans just last week has cut the price of squid by three - allowing many more diners and markets around the world cheap access to what is normally seen as a rare treat...at least by some. We'll take you live to the Port area now. News Reporter 3: Thank you. Well, by most standards, squid isn't usually on people's menus, and most of us generally portray it as stringy, bitter, even grotesque, but these cooks are spreading the word of a new technique they claim makes it one of the greatest meals you'd ever dig in to. (Turning to the two cooks behind the table) So what exactly is your strategy in turning these tentacles (holding up a couple strings of kraken meat) into a meal fit for the common man? Cook: It's actually pretty simple, and for anyone watching if you have a deep pot like this at home, you can probably cook up something like this yourself. Essentially you take a pan of oil, like this (the cook points to a high tray with viscous oil in it) and set it over a fire. Then you get a grate of squid, here (bringing out a tray of raw squid, which seem to be coated in some sort of crust) and very carefully lower it in with these rods (he takes hold of each side with metal hooks). The trick is, before you put them on the tray you gotta coat them with bread crumbs or some other seasoning. Maybe start with a light coating of egg yolks too. (The cook lowers the tray in. It sizzles very loudly.) Cook's Assistant: So what's goin' on is the bread crumbs are, are actually being cooked into (wildly motioning with his hands) the squid and if ya put it in there for about two to three minutes it's gonna come out with a nice brown color. Of course, to do this right ya gotta find a pan and tray that, that match up, like we got here. News Reporter 3: Do you guys have a business around here? Cook's Assistant: We come all the way out here from cross-continent and, uh, ya know, we mostly do seafood because we're right between two big fisheries, so a lot of stuff like shrimp and, uh, salmon we tend to get a ton of, especially around this time of year. Squid only comes every once in a while so we, uh, been trying to get this goin' for a while. News Reporter 3: So you're going to end up selling this back home? Cook's Assistant: Yep, yep, yep, we tried the very first batch and the stuff's incredible. This guy right 'ere (he slaps the cook on the back) got us the big perfect combo. It'll be on the menu as soon as we get back - just make sure you guys can get past the, uh, Orcs and whatnot. Heh heh. Cook: (He pulls out the tray) Yeah, lookie there. How about that. News Reporter 3: They look great! How fast do they cool? Cook: Pretty quick, we'll just set them here on the paper (he does so) and...well, go ahead and take one. News Reporter 3: Thank you (the reporter grabs a longer piece, which has now a golden breading on it, and chews on it) - oh wow, that's actually really good. I think, (swallowing the piece) you guys are really on to something here. Cook's Assistant: We hope so, we've already got a bunch selling here for about 400 Gold a bag. Weve'nt had business like this in about three years or somethin'. Cook: He's talking about the big shrimp fest that came down our way. We were pretty much the main star. But, uh, I don't want to advertise much on here. Going to let our squid do the talking. News Reporter 3: Yes, alright, well, nice talking to you guys, and good luck. Back to you in the studio. News Reporter 1: Thank you very much, and I think we just got about two new items added to our plates, don't you? News Reporter 2: Not to sound freaky but, I'm still not too sure I want that stuff in the kitchen. You don't think those little pieces have just one or two Whirlpools left in them? News Reporter 1: No, probably not after they're cooked, no. Anyway, local news coming up, followed by your Federation Sports highlights of the week. Stay tuned. (News jingle plays) Category:Non-Canon